Category Archives: My books

Q2: The Brutality of Ballet

As POINTE, CLAW leaps into the world, I thought I might answer some questions posed by readers…

Q2: Is ballet really that competitive?

Yes.

At least at the elite levels it is.

Ballet is very much a metaphor for being female in this society. Little girls take ballet and fall in love with dance and tutus and pink tights and sparkles. As they grow, they are further indoctrinated (yes, I use that word on purpose) into believing that they can become ballerinas. They compete with each other and are brutal on themselves (dieting, purging, starving) all so they can achieve a dream (like being the “perfect” woman).

The dream is actually impossible for all but the smallest fraction of women because of factors completely outside our control: genetics and physiology. As teens, our bodies go wildly out of control (like Dawn’s in POINTE, CLAW) and most of us discover that we will never be “perfect” because that definition is so narrow, but by then, we are so firmly brainwashed that we keep trying to match what we see on stage (or on magazine covers).

As long as women continue to buy into the idea of the “perfect woman,” we will continue to do violence to ourselves and other women. This is POINTE, CLAW.

Q1: On the Meaning of Names

As POINTE, CLAW leaps into the world, I thought I might answer some questions posed by readers…

Q1: What are the significance (if any) of the names in the story, particularly Jessie and Dawn?

This book began with two visceral images.

The first—a dancer taking off her pointe shoes and seeing that they are full of blood. This happened. The dancer was me. The blood was mine. Jessie contains so much of my real life that I gave her a version of my middle name, Jessen.

The second image—a girl disappearing into the forest at at daybreak. The sun rises through mist and birdsong. The end of this book is the beginning of a new day, a new life. Even though she is a carnal and earthy character, Dawn is dawn—full of promise.